A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life,
but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them.
The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams,
psychological exams, and various tests. He then concluded, "Yes, I am happy to
say that I believe I can help you. On your way home from my office stop at the
grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your
clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls
eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her
like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue."
"Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room,
toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then
like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut."
The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.
They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green, that they should see the good doctor.
The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt
that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests.
Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money.
I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be. I cannot help."
The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please,
please help us."
"Well, all right," the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the
grocery store and buy some apples and a box of Cheerios..."
Submitted by reader S.S.