Some important theological questions are answered if we think of God as a computer programmer.
- Does God control everything that happens in my life?
- He could, if He used the debugger, but it's tedious to step through all those variables.
- Why does God allow evil to happen?
- God thought He eliminated evil in one of the earlier revs.
- Does God know everything?
- He likes to think so, but He is often amazed to find out what goes on in the overnight job.
- What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?
- If a critical error occurs, the system pages him automatically and He logs on from home to try to bring it up. Otherwise things can wait until tomorrow.
- Did God really create the world in seven days?
- He did it in six days and nights while living on cola and candy bars. On the seventh day He went home and found out His girlfriend had left Him.
- How come the Age of Miracles Ended?
- That was the development phase of the project, and now we are in the maintenance phase.
- Will there be another Universe after the Big Bang?
- A lot of people are drawing things on the white board, but doubt that it will ever be implemented.
- Who is Satan?
- Satan is an MIS director who takes credit for more powers than he actually possesses, so people who aren't programmers are scared of him. God thinks of him as irritating but irrelevant.
- What is the role of sinners?
- Sinners are the people who find new and imaginative ways to mess up the system when God has made it idiot-proof.
Submitted by reader D.B.