My birthday is Saturday, but owing to leap years and that I was born early in the morning, I'm actually turning [redacted]—[REDACTED]!—at 9:09 am Chicago time tomorrow. See, Earth revolves around the Sun every 365.24217 days, you see, so if you take the time and date I was born ([redacted]-09-05T[redacted]) and add [redacted]*365.24217 days to it, you get 2020-09-04T14:09, give or take a few seconds.
So today is my last day in my [redacted - 10]s. And yet I don't feel a day over [fraction of redacted].
The only good news is, given my family genetics and my overall health right now, it's very likely I'll live another [redacted plus a few] years.
I had hoped for a big party, or barring that, a weekend in Europe...but hey, I haven't caught the plague yet.