Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around
the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum
speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich
short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her, and some actually
One day, Ethel was speeding up the corridor when a door opened and a man
stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he said in a firm
voice, "have you got a license for that thing?"
Ethel fished around in her handbag on her lap and pulled out a Kit-Kat
wrapper which she held up to him.
"OK," he said and she went on her way.
While taking the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, another man
stepped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got a valid
tax permit for that vehicle, madam?"
Ethel dug into her handbag again and pulled out a beer coaster which she
held up to him and he allowed her to carry on.
Going down the final corridor before the front door, a third man stepped
out in front of her. This one was stark naked and was holding his penis
in his hand.
"Oh no," said Ethel, "not the breathalyzer again!"
Submitted by reader M.B.