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Cassie and I went out right at sunrise (7:14—two more weeks before the latest one of the winter on January 3rd) just as the temperature bottomed out at -10.5°C (13.1°F) after yesterday's cold front. Tomorrow will be above freezing, Sunday will be a bit below, and then Monday through the end of the year looks like it'll be above. And the forecast for Christmas Day is 11°C (52°F). Meanwhile, as I sip my second cup of tea, these stories made me want to go back to bed: As much as we want to ignore the...

Of note: Jeff Maurer wants every Democratic candidate in the next election cycle to hammer the OAFPOTUS for selling pardons (and all his other corruption). Former Republican US Representative Adam Kinzinger takes his party to task for rejecting its own history by attacking the civil service. (By the way, Netflix has a great four-part miniseries about Presidents Garfield and Arthur called "Death by Lightning" that you can watch now.) Paul Krugman frets that we have become a "digital narco-state." Amanda...

I've been heads-down debugging, except for going to the meetings already on my calendar, and just realized I've got to leave for rehearsal soon. I'll have to come back to these fun little nuggets later: What is this bullshit the OAFPOTUS is pushing about "white genocide" in South Africa? After some consideration, James Fallows has come around to believing that the way Senate Democrats ended the government shutdown will actually help us next year. The Chicago City Council finance committee rejected Mayor...

Mathematician and satirist Tom Lehrer has died at the age of 97: Thomas Andrew Lehrer was born in Manhattan on April 9, 1928, one of two sons of James Lehrer, a successful tie manufacturer, and Alma (Waller) Lehrer. Young Tom was precocious, but his precocity had its limits. He took piano lessons from an early age, but balked at learning classical music and insisted on switching to a teacher who emphasized the Broadway show tunes he loved. In 1953, encouraged by friends, he produced an album. To his...

Cassie and I found a 20-minute gap in the rain this morning so she could have a (slightly-delayed) walk. Since around 9 am, though, we've had variations on this: Good thing I have all these heartwarming news stories to warm my heart: Dane County, Wis., Judge Susan Crawford beat Waukesha County Judge Brad Schimel 55% to 45% for the vacant seat on the Wisconsin state Supreme Court, despite the $25 million the Clown Prince of X donated to Schimel's campaign. The CPOX himself drew laughs from people with...

If you're old enough, you may remember the show Moonlighting, which ran from March 1985 until May 1989 on ABC. And if you remember Moonlighting, you may remember this bit from the first season finale that aired 40 years ago today: Later today we'll return to our ongoing existential horror. But let's pause and remember what it was like to watch that scene unfold on broadcast television with no way to play it back until it finished recording on tape.

Two stories I mentioned previously have updates today: After a Federal judge in Oregon and a state judge in Washington rejected the Albertsons-Kroger merger, Albertsons has filed suit against Kroger for breach of contract in the failed deal. A Federal bankruptcy judge in Houston has rejected the Onion's acquisition of Infowars in the estate dissolution of Alex Jones, citing a lack of transparency in the process. As long as I've got five minutes before my next meeting, I also want to spike these two for...

Chicago-based humor magazine The Onion has won the bankruptcy auction to acquire Alex Jones's InfoWars Media: The Onion said that the bid was sanctioned by the families of the victims of the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, who in 2022 won a $1.4 billion defamation lawsuit against Mr. Jones and his company, Free Speech Systems. The publication plans to reintroduce Infowars in January as a parody of itself, mocking “weird internet personalities” like Mr. Jones who traffic in misinformation...

This: That, my friends, is how you do a takedown. This also made me LOL:

McSweeney's channels Lovecraft—at Olive Garden: Cheese Ravioli A homogeneity characterized its flaxen cast. Bubbling sacks of slime upon a platter scorching. Beware! Doused in the pureed remains of a dozen orbic fruits, I feel my breath quicken and hands tremble as I pen its likeness as well as I might. My own mind conspires against me when presented with this frightful entrée. To dine? Or will my own visage mirror its sickly jaundice? I have touched with too much haste the vessel of Hades, a burn be my...

Now that I've got a few weeks without travel, performances*, or work conferences, I can go back to not having enough time to read all the news that interests me. Like these stories: The Economist examines how Putin might be punished for war crimes in Ukraine. Max Boot wonders why Tucker Carlson still loves his old Uncle Vlad. The IPCC says we have eight years to cut greenhouse emissions by 50% or the planet will pass the 1.5°C warming threshold no matter what else we do. Welp. Via Bruce Schneier...

Washington Post columnist David Von Drehle has some theories about cooking an entire bird for Thanksgiving: The time is here again when millions of Americans anguish over a nearly impossible culinary task, in hopes of producing (by any objective measure) an insipid result. I speak of roasting an entire turkey. This yearly project dates back many centuries, to an individual named Satan, who specializes in devising infernal tortures. Roasting a turkey involves placing an irregular form — meaty lobes, bony...

After Fox network blowhard Tucker Carlson whined that the National Security Agency, the US intelligence service tasked with spying on communications outside the US, had tapped his phones, the agency clapped back on Twitter: TPM's Cristina Cabrera reports, "Carlson doubled down on his accusation shortly afterward on his program, saying the NSA’s statement 'an entire paragraph of lies written purely for the benefit of the intel community’s lackeys at CNN and MSNBC.'" The NSA is just having a bit of sport...

Lunchtime roundup: Author John Scalzi gives the STBXPOTUS a colossal take-down on his blog today: "We don’t have to wait on history, but as it happens, this is how history will remember Donald Trump: Not as a forceful, charismatic authoritarian, but as a corrupt and pathetic wretch, who spent the final days of his presidency shouting at the walls about how the world is against him." Alexandra Petri: "Now is not the time to point fingers, Julius Caesar. Now is the time for healing." ("I am frankly...

Welcome to the (abbreviated) lunchtime roundup: Not only have attackers breached hundreds of networks due to a subtle flaw in a complicated piece of software, it turns out that a Dutch software engineer has—for the second time—exposed a rather glaring flaw in an uncomplicated piece of wetware by guessing the STBXPOTUS's Twitter password. (It was "maga2020!". I am not making this up.) Thomas Edsall decries "the rise of 'political sectarianism'." It's time once again for Drew Magary's "Hater's Guide to...

You have to see these photos of the dark Sears Tower against the Chicago skyline—a metaphor for 2020 bar none. Also: The Chicago Teachers Union has sued the Chicago Public Schools and Betsy DeVos over the treatment of special-education students during the lockdown. Alexandra Petri imagines the sad, lonely life of a potato guardian. Three Floyds has closed their brewpub indefinitely, another sign of the apocalypse. President Trump really does believe his own quackery, though hydroxychloroquine as a dog...

I think today is Tuesday, the first day of my 10th week working from home. That would make today...March 80th? April 49th? Who knows. It is, however, just past lunchtime, and today I had shawarma and mixed news: Carbon emissions have declined 17% year-over-year, thanks to Covid-19-related slowdowns reducing petroleum consumption. (See? It's not all bad news.) Crain's Chicago Business reviews how businesses rate Mayor Lori Lightfoot's first year in office. And their editorial board says we should "start...

(Asking for a friend.) Because today she flayed Alan Dershowitz's laughable argument about presidential power by laughing at it: The will of the voters found its highest and best expression in the election of President Trump, and anything that seems likely to remove him from power or even just inconvenience him a little goes against their will. If the Founders had wanted it to be possible to legitimately remove from office a president the people had selected, they would have made three equal branches of...

Alexandra Petri has a suggestion: Unsure what to get your family for the holidays this year? Have you considered something that Devin Nunes is clearly enjoying, that even Secretary of State Mike Pompeo delights in, that Donald Trump made for his own amusement in the 1980s and has since gotten to share with more and more people as demand increased? It’s Your Own Set of Facts! From the people who brought you Alternative Facts, but also, somehow, from Russia, Your Own Set of Facts will transform the way...

“I’m just saying if I narrowly decided to order fish at a restaurant that was known for chicken, but said it was happy to offer fish, and so far I’ve been waiting three hours, and two chefs who promised to cook the fish had quit, and the third one is promising to deliver the fish in the next five minutes whether it’s cooked or not, or indeed still alive, and all the waiting staff have spent the last few hours arguing about whether I wanted battered cod, grilled salmon, jellied eels or dolphin kebabs...

How did I miss this? Monty Python's Flying Circus turned 50 on Friday: The Pythons included a prolific diarist – Palin has published three hefty volumes already – but, dismayingly, the months around the start of the first Python show are one of the longest gaps. Palin attributes this to the busy-ness of filming, and having a young child and ailing elderly father. Although comic weirdness had been introduced to the BBC by The Goon Show, Monty Python went even further. BBC production teams may have sensed...

Beloved humor magazine of my childhood and my father's Mad Magazine will effectively end its 67-year run with the August issue: Sources tell [The Hollywood Reporter] that after issue 9, MAD will no longer be sold on newsstands and will only be available through comic book shops as well as mailed to subscribers. After issue 10, there will no longer be new content in subsequent issues save for the end-of-year specials (those will be all-new). Beginning with issue 11, the magazine will only feature...

If you haven't discovered Randy Rainbow, here you go: He was in Chicago last night, at Thalia Hall in Pilsen, and I got a chance to hear him live. And today, he's on the cover of the Washington Post Magazine: In a topsy-turvy era, is it surprising that a political commentator should dress in sequins, feather boas and pink cat-eye glasses? Because that’s Randy Rainbow (yes, it’s his given name). In real life, the 37-year-old leads a solitary existence in an orderly apartment adorned with oversize...

Today's Daily Parker flash of inspiration will memorialize my update to an obsolete proverb. Instead of "a stopped watch is right twice a day," substitute "a dead mobile gets no bad texts." On second thought, they're not orthogonal. But in my defense, I was thinking of the president at the time.

A farmer in Scotland tweaks American tourists: A cheeky farmer is winding up American tourists by spray-painting her sheep tartan – and claiming it’s caused by the animals drinking popular Scottish soft drink, Irn-Bru. Owner Maxine Scott, 62, used her skills with a spray-can to brighten up ewes April and Daisy. Scott puts up a sign pretending that the sheep turn bright orange naturally and that their fleeces are then used to make tartan wool for kilts and blankets. The sheep live on Auchingarrich...

I've just started reading anthropologist David Graeber's book Bullshit Jobs. It's hilarious and depressing at the same time. For a good summary, I would point you to Graeber's own essay "On the Phenomenon of Bullshit Jobs" that ran in Strike seven years ago: A recent report comparing employment in the US between 1910 and 2000 gives us a clear picture (and I note, one pretty much exactly echoed in the UK). Over the course of the last century, the number of workers employed as domestic servants, in...

Just a quick post of articles I want to load up on my Surface at O'Hare: Dana Milbank says that we've now lost the Cold War. In his preceding column, he said "Rudy Giuliani is the fool for our time." BBC Scotland reported last week that "more than a third of vintage Scotch whiskies...have been found to be fake." (Last year, Whisky Advocate had a list of ways to check the authenticity of your vintage Scotch.) Chicago Public Media explains how Chicago got some of its street names—and how to pronounce...

So, I'm "Crash" Davis today. (There's a deeper message there.) My company didn't field a lot of costumes today, sadly. So there was a small possibility that I could end up an Internet meme before 5pm. Updates as the situation develops.

The owner of the property that houses Chicago's infamous Wieners Circle hot-dog stand has put it up for sale: The Wieners Circle, that Lincoln Park institution known as much for its late-night insults as its hot dogs, may soon have to take its shtick somewhere else. The hot dog stand's longtime landlord has hired a broker to sell the Clark Street property and an apartment building next door, potentially setting the stage for a developer to raze the 36-year-old restaurant and put up apartments or condos...

In a column last summer, UC Berkeley professor Ned Resnikoff saw Armando Ianucci's British sitcom The Thick of It as a warning: As scathing as The Thick of It can be in its depiction of craven, self-interested political behavior, it’s difficult to imagine any of its protagonists engaging in criminality on a scale equal to what Trump’s inner circle may have committed. Nor can The Thick of It capture the dizzying instability of American politics in 2017, though it has occasionally gotten close. The...

Jeet Heer, who usually writes about politics, today praised a movie that was horribly underrated when it came out 20 years ago this week: The shifting critical fortunes of The Big Lebowski are legendary. Roger Ebert initially gave the movie a mixed review because of its ramshackle plot, which “rushes in all directions and never ends up anywhere.” In 2010, he upgraded The Big Lebowski to the status of a “great” movie. Denby also changed his mind, according to a recent Washington Post survey of...

Today is the last work day of 2017, and also the last day of my team's current sprint. So I'm trying to chase down requirements and draft stories before I lose everyone for the weekend. These articles will just have to wait: The New York Times interviewed President Trump; Josh Marshall has some thoughts about it. The Times also describes how a small section of the 2nd Avenue Subway is the most expensive mile of subway track on earth. Mother Jones has a video tribute to Trump Administration staffers who...

Today's XKCD: Shameless plug: Inner Drive Technology can help!

Example of why, from last Saturday:

There is one musical play, out of all of them, that I loathe more than any other. My hatred of this play far exceeds my antipathy towards Mitch McConnell, such that I would gladly prefer an evening reading his floor speeches than to listen to one single song from this abomination. Rogers and Hammerstein, you should be ashamed. Way back in May 2011, Melinda Taub wrote a gem for McSweeney's that suggest she agrees: Dear friends, family, and Austrian nobility, Captain Von Trapp and I are very sorry to...

Last week's Economist had a semi-serious "letter from the CEO" on Plan C: When I left the White House yesterday, after another two-hour round-table with the president, I knew in my gut that it was time to put in place “plan C” for this great company. The boxer, Mike Tyson, had a point when he said “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” But so did Winston Churchill when he observed that “plans are of little importance, but planning is essential.” We owe it to our investors, customers...

I was waiting with bated breath to see how Scott Adams would spin last night's Watergate moment into yet another example of the masterful persuasion techniques of President Trump. Like Baghdad Bob standing on the hotel roof, he did not disappoint: Democrats and the Opposition Media reflexively oppose almost everything President Trump does. This time he gave them something they wanted, badly, but not for the reason they wanted. That’s a trigger. It forces anti-Trumpers to act angry in public that he did...

Cracked did a great video last November that everyone who hasn't paid attention to U.S. defense spending needs to watch: But hey, without the largest military in the world (times ten), we can't be New Rome, can we? I especially liked his comparison of the JSF to Star Wars. Just watch.

Now, I'm not likely ever to move to (a) any city with fewer than 2½ million people, (b) any city south of the 37th parallel, or (c) any city in a state that once attempted to leave the U.S. so it could continue the institution of slavery. But via City Lab comes Chattanooga's new P.R. campaign that...well, watch: Or if you're pressed for time:

And in honor of his birthday, one of my all-time-favorite riffs on his style from the 1980s TV show "Moonlighting:"

All of these articles look interesting, and I hope I get to read them: 538 explains how the Cubs beat Cleveland last night, and how they might do it 3 more times. Richard Florida explains how the class divide in the US is only getting worse. The DNC is suing the RNC over voter intimidation tactics. London's Heathrow is one step closer to getting a third runway. Trying to get to Wrigleyville this weekend? The Tribune has a guide for you. There's new data about what happens in your brain when you lie....

Canadian writers Pat Kelly, Peter Oldring, and Chris Kelly nail it:

The Toronto Symphony Orchestra has created brilliant listening guides for audiences: Hannah Chan-Hartley is the managing editor and musicologist at the Toronto Symphony Orchestra (TSO). She oversees the production of the orchestra’s various printed programmes, from designing layouts and writing and editing content, to the creation of its intriguing ‘listening guides’ with graphic designer Gareth Fowler. A deft mix of text and graphics, the guides can be read while listening to the performance, their...

Graham Chapman and Terry Jones visited Chicago in 1975 to promote Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And then they shot these promos for the local Public Television station, WTTW: DNAinfo has more.

Zach Weinersmith has abridged the Bible "Beyond the Point of Usefulness." And he has given this work a Creative Commons 3.0 BY-NC license, which lets me post it right here for you (281 k, PDF). Enjoy. Excerpts: Genesis: God made everything, but humans keep screwing it up; some Jews move to Egypt, which seemed like a good idea at the time. Amos: Amos becomes, like, the 14,000th prophet to note that Israel is making God mad and when you make God mad things go bad. Acts: Finding the market for Jewish...

Thank you, Dr. L:

 Read or look at these: Colorized photos from the Civil War The Economist has a list of the best airports to sleep in Crain's has a list of Chicago's coolest offices Want your kid to be a virtuoso violinist? I hope not Today is Back to the Future II day. Here's what they got right Don Friesen forgets his password a lot Oh, and the Cubs lost, which feels somehow familiar.