Visitor Meade Skelton Haufe, annoyed that myths
about Southern Americans continue to propagate through the Internet, got
even with us. He wrote:
As a True Southerner
I am extremely offended by your trite and
slanderous humor against the Southern people.
What kind of ignorant dribble is this? The imperialistic Yankee-ized
massed media shoves this down our throats time and time
again. We are told to get rid of our Southern "accents" no matter how proper our
English is and no matter how well eduacted we might be.
Here, then, is Mr Haufe's answer:
Things a Northerner would never, ever say
- Where are my manners?
- I can't wear that—it's polyester!
- Socialism is wrong!
- Don't you think Howard Stern is a pervert?
- Dear, I don't think its polite to brag about our bank account
- But...isn't that a sin?
- Thank you
- You're Welcome
- Do I sound too nasal?
- I don't care for bowling or Polka music
- I think I'll vote Republican
- Excuse me, I didn't mean to belch
- There's more to life than money and foreign cars
- Honest Abe...was a liar!
- Who's Frank Sinatra?
- Obey the speed limit
- I don't want to be too conventional
- OH MY GOD! ITS SNOWING!
- We'v e got the pretteist women around!
Thanks, Meade, from all of us in the Union. (And by the way, we hate polka.)
Submitted by reader M.H.