Events

Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire. The propeller is just a big fan in front of...

Visitor Meade Skelton Haufe, annoyed that myths about Southern Americans continue to propagate through the Internet, got even with us. He wrote: As a True Southerner I am extremely offended by your trite and slanderous humor against the Southern people. What kind of ignorant dribble is this? The imperialistic Yankee-ized massed media shoves this down our throats time and time again. We are told to get rid of our Southern "accents" no matter how proper our English is and no matter how well eduacted we...

Generally Never take a beer to a job interview. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. Dining Out When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the wine. If drinking directly from...

Our network of spies intercepted this communiqué Friday morning: From: Anonymous To: Michael Braverman Sent: Thursday, May 04, 2000 4:33 PM Subject: Hayden I'm sure you've heard already, but in case you haven't - Hayden got Star Wars!!!!! Yup, two picture deal as Anakin Skywalker!!!! Merchandising deal,etc. Wahooooo!! And the way George Lucas first became aware of Hayden was by way of the pilot episode of HG, which his agent/manager sent to Lucas to screen....which, of course, you wrote!!!! So there's...

Courtesy of some die hard Star Wars fans, it has been learned that there's going to be an extra scene included in the DVD release of The Empire Strikes Back that is due out in April 2000. The heretofore unknown and unseen footage expands on the scene where Vader reveals his fatherhood to Luke, and ties up some loose ends created with the release of Episode 1... The Empire Strikes Back: Directors Cut INT: BESPIN GANTRY - MOMENTS LATER: A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE...