Responding to the letter I just received from Deutsche Bahn

Dear DB Vertrieb GmbH Fahrpreisnacherhebung:

I received your letter of 24th September yesterday. In the letter, you claimed that I have not paid the 60 € penalty fare for taking the wrong train from Bruxelles Midi to Liège on 7th September, demanded that I do so immediately, and you assessed a 7 € "reminder fee" to boot. Thank you for providing your international banking information in case I wanted to spend the $50 or so necessary to wire you the money. Regrettably, I cannot comply with your request, as your correspondence had several deficiencies that make it impossible to do so:

1. I have already paid the 60 € penalty fare, directly to the conductor of the train in question on 7th September. I am happy to provide a copy or photo of the receipt. That your systems didn't connect that payment with the data the conductor collected on me is unfortunate, but not a problem that I can solve or take responsibility for.
2. The United States Postal Service made a heroic effort to deliver the letter, correctly determining that the city of "VI IL CHICAGO CHICAGO" was not, in fact, in the unincorporated territory of the "Amerikanische_Jungferninseln" (the U.S. Virgin Islands), but was rather in the State of Illinois. Unfortunately it took three weeks for them to do that, so I was unable to respond within 10 days as you requested. (I am glad I don't live in one of the 91 poluplated places in the US called Springfield or it might have taken even longer.) You may want to remind your conductors (who in general have excellent English skills) that "VS" is the correct German abbreviation for my country.
3. The letter does not list a phone number or email address to which I can direct my response. Given the delivery timeline and difficulties already mentioned, I am loath to respond by post. I hope someone in your Frankfurt am Main office reads The Daily Parker.

Your ICE trains are excellent, and I do look forward to taking another one through Germany someday soon. I just hope we have all moved on from this misunderstanding by then.

Sincerely,
/s/ The Daily Parker