The Daily Parker

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Joke: The Amazing Goldstein

A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, "Don't miss the Amazing Goldstein!"

Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts—animals, clowns, contortionists, and other questionable acts. Finally the trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There, in the middle of the ring, is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man, five feet tall and barely able to walk to the table. He unzips his pants and whips out a long shlong and proceeds to smash all three walnuts with three swings!

The crowd erupts in thunderous applause as the elderly Goldstein is carried off on the shoulders of clowns.

Twenty years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein" banner. He can't believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his act!

Again he buys a ticket sits through the acts and again the center ring is illuminated. This time three coconuts are on the table and old Goldstein takes forever to make it to the table. He smashes the coconuts with three swings of his amazing weapon and the crowd goes crazy!

The salesman requests a meeting with him after the show. In his dressing room he tells him he's never seen anything like the act. But he wants to know why he is now smashing coconuts instead of the much easier walnuts.

"Vell," says Goldstein, "my eyes aren't vhat they used to be!"

Submitted by reader M.B.

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