Your Jedi might be a redneck if...
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he uses his lightsaber to cut the bottlecap off a beer
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he says, "These are not the beers you're looking for"
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that "Disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans and spareribs
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the inside of the house looks more like Dagobah than the outside
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he calls his young apprentice, "Hoss"
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he ever uses telekinesis to pull his jeans up
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the Force isn't the only thing that runs in the family
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he calls Hank Williams "master"
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his landspeeder has a gun rack
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he constantly mistakes R2 units for beer kegs
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he got his light saber by sending in 750 "Camel cash" tickets
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his sister chooses him over Han Solo
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he calls Yoda his "Li'l green buddy."
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he has ever said, "Anger... fear...agression...Yankees...the dark side are they."
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his father's name is Garth Vader
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his lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base
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there is more oil in his robes than in his astromech droid
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he has ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing or bowling
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he trims his beard and finds a Mynock
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he has ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill
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he offends Jawas with his B.O.
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he fights with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other
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he uses a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck
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he uses his Jedi healing powers to clear up his VD
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his Jedi robe is camouflage-colored
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at least one wing of his X-Wing is primer colored
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he can easily describe the taste of an Ewok
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he can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks
- his father ever said to him, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
Submitted by reader S.P.