The Daily Parker

Politics, Weather, Photography, and the Dog

Speaker Johnson

House Republicans have (finally) elected a Speaker, far-right Rep. Mike Johnson (R-LA), an election denier who tried to popularize the "independent state legislature" malarkey after the 2020 election:

Elected to Congress in 2016, Mr. Johnson is the most junior lawmaker in decades to become speaker.

He may also be the most conservative. An evangelical Christian, Mr. Johnson is the former chairman of the Republican Study Committee and sponsored legislation to effectively bar the discussion of sexual orientation or gender identity at any institution serving children younger than 10 that receives federal funds.

He served on former President Donald J. Trump’s impeachment defense team, played a leading role in recruiting House Republicans to sign a legal brief supporting a lawsuit seeking to overturn the 2020 election results and was an architect of Mr. Trump’s bid to object to certifying them in Congress on Jan. 6, 2021.

Josh Marshall has links to Speaker Johnson's podcasts, just in time for Hallowe'en. They're scary.

Election day is 376 days away...

This is the opposition party now

The reactions to yesterday's defenestration of former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) share a particular theme I can't quite put my finger on:

  • Aaron Blake foresees more chaos, particularly for McCarthy's successor.
  • Dana Milbank foresees more chaos, particularly for the Republican Party.
  • Josh Marshall foresees more chaos, particularly for the so-called Problem-Solvers Caucus.
  • The Economist foresees more chaos, particularly around funding for Ukraine.
  • Ronald Brownstein foresees more chaos, particularly because of a half-century of Republicans simply unable to countenance even the slightest whiff of bipartisan governance.
  • Alex Shephard foresees more chaos, but McCarthy particularly deserved to go.
  • Grace Seeger foresees more chaos, but not particularly for big winner House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY).
  • John Scalzi foresees more chaos, but the "spineless, self-hobbled wretch at the mercy of the worst elements of the House GOP" brought it on himself, particularly. ("Modern conservatives can’t govern; they can only signal. That’s the only thing they know how to do any more.")

Have you noticed that every time the Republican Party does something unprecedented, it creates more chaos? They have proved, once more, that they deserve a time-out until they learn how to play with others, just like the 3rd-graders they have become.

I don't have enough popcorn in the house for this

US Representative and certified-fresh moistly-steaming dingleberry Matt Gaetz (R-FL) succeeded in catching his speeding car:

On Tuesday, allies of Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) tried to table the motion, which would have stopped the resolution in its tracks. The motion to table failed by a simple-majority vote. Lawmakers then moved on to a vote to vacate the speakership. With 216 members voting for his removal, McCarthy was ousted Tuesday afternoon.

Of course all of my guys voted to remove him. And now, per the post-9/11 continuity of government rules, Rep. Patrick McHenry (R-NC) has taken over as Speaker Pro Tempore—an office that appears nowhere in the Constitution nor in the Presidential Succession Act of 1947. Senate President Pro Tempore Patty Murray (D-WA) is now 3rd in line to the Presidency.

Former House Speaker Newt Fucking Gingrich (R-GA) has already published an op-ed in the Washington Post (the Post!) arguing that the Republican Party should expel Gaetz for being (checks notes) so dumb you can hear the ocean when you stand next to him:

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) is an anti-Republican who has become actively destructive to the conservative movement.

Gaetz obviously hates House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) — and that’s fine. If Gaetz were simply a loudmouthed junior member who attacked McCarthy every day, that would be fine, too. He would just be isolated with a small group of lawmakers who can’t figure out how to get things done. They’d huddle together seeking warmth and reassurance from their fellow incompetents.

Gaetz’s motion to remove McCarthy should have been swiftly defeated, but it wasn’t; he should still be expelled from the House Republican Conference. House Republicans have far more important things to do than entertain one member’s ego.

My god, that's rich coming from Gingrich. Someone tell that poor schmuck that he's the reason Gaetz ever got on the ballot. Gingrich spent all four years as Speaker trying to convince ordinary Americans that the US Government wasn't capable of helping them, mainly by smashing bits of it with a hammer and wasting Congress's time with impeaching President Clinton. But hey, as the old joke goes, there are some things not even a Gingrich will do.

And! I almost forgot this:

The New York judge presiding over Donald J. Trump’s civil fraud trial ordered the former president Tuesday not to attack or even comment on court staff after Mr. Trump posted a message to social media targeting the judge’s law clerk.

Mr. Trump has spent much of the first two days of the trial attacking Justice Engoron, Ms. Greenfield and Letitia James, the New York attorney general. Ms. James filed the lawsuit that led to the trial that began Monday. She accused Mr. Trump of “staggering fraud” in the way he inflated the values of his assets, as a way to gain favorable treatment from banks and insurance companies. Ms. James and Justice Engoron are both Democrats.

As Napoleon said, “when the enemy is making a false movement we must take good care not to interrupt him.” Godspeed, House Republicans! You have 43 days to solve this before the government budget lapses again.

With 33 hours to go in the 3rd Quarter...

Somehow, it's already the end of September. I realize this happens with some predictability right around this time of year, but it still seems odd to me.

Of course, most of the world seems odd these days:

Finally, just look at this happy dog and all his new human friends playing a fun game of keep-away...during a professional football game in Mexico. I've watched it about five times now. The goodest boi was having such a great time. I hope one of the players or refs adopted him.

Beautiful morning in Chicago

We finally have a real May-appropriate day in Chicago, with a breezy 26°C under clear skies (but 23°C closer to the Lake, where I live). Over to my right, my work computer—a 2017-era Lenovo laptop I desperately want to fling onto the railroad tracks—has had some struggles with the UI redesign I just completed, giving me a dose of frustration but also time to line up some lunchtime reading:

Finally, today marks the 30th anniversary of Aimee Mann releasing one of my favorite albums, her solo debut Whatever. She perfectly summed up the early-'90s ennui that followed the insanity of the '80s as we Gen-Xers came of age. It still sounds as fresh to me today as it did then.

Another serial grifter faces consequences

US Representative George Santos (R-NY) surrendered to Federal authorities this morning, charged with 13 counts of fraud and related offenses:

Prosecutors said the charges resulted from “fraudulent schemes and brazen misrepresentations” designed to mislead donors, enrich Mr. Santos and win a seat in Congress as a Republican from Queens.

  • The bulk of the charges relate to what prosecutors said was a 2022 scheme in which Mr. Santos solicited at least $50,000 in donations from political donors for a fake super PAC and then pocketed the money for personal expenses, including luxury goods and designer clothing.
  • As part of that arrangement, prosecutors accused Mr. Santos of committing five counts of wire fraud when the candidate and an unnamed political consultant he directed told potential donors in emails and text messages that their contributions would “exclusively” support the Republican campaign and pay for TV ads.

The charges leave some tantalizing questions unanswered. For example, prosecutors say that he falsely certified that he earned $750,000 from his company, the Devolder Organization, and that he had received between $1 million and $5 million in dividends from Devolder. In their news release, prosecutors note: “These assertions were false. Mr. Santos had not received from the Devolder Organization the reported amounts of salary or dividends.”

The Times has a posted copy of the indictment, as have other news sources.

Rep. Santos has already announced his re-election campaign. Only two of his fellow Republicans have called on him to resign.

Waiting for customer service

I'm on hold with my bank trying to sort out a transaction they seem to have deleted. I've also just sorted through a hundred or so stories in our project backlog, so while I'm mulling over the next 6 months of product development, I will read these:

And my bank's customer service finally got back to me with the sad news that the thing I wanted them to fix was, and we are so sorry, it turns out, your fault. Fie.

My office is still and here

In a form of enlightened laziness, I often go into my company's downtown Chicago office on Friday and the following Monday, avoiding the inconvenience of taking my laptop home. It helps also that Fridays and Mondays have become the quietest days of the week, with most return-to-office workers heading in Tuesdays through Thursdays.

And after a productive morning, I have a few things to read at lunch:

Finally, National Geographic digs down to find explanations for the disappearances of five ancient cities, and what that might tell us about our own culture.

More black smoke

Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) has lost his seventh bid for Speaker—nope, eighthwhile Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) has amassed more cumulative votes for the office than anyone except Sam Rayburn. Things in the House have become surreal, even without a bad lip reading for levity. As Tom Nichols puts it,

What all of these GOP members do seem to have in common is a shared belief that they should be in Congress in order to make other people miserable. Usually, those “other people” are Democrats and various people on the generic right-wing enemies list, but lately, the targets include the few remaining Republicans who think their job in Washington is to legislate and pass bills and other boring twaddle that has nothing to do with keeping the hometown folks in a lather, getting on television, and getting reelected.

And yet, the XPOTUS remains absent from the proceedings, with both sides of the Republican Party basically ignoring him. His "wishes, feelings, threats, anger and really anything else about him are just completely absent from this entire drama. In a way that is the biggest story here."

Meanwhile, back in the real world:

Finally, the most recent defense authorization bill the outgoing Congress passed last week included a provision promoting Ulysses S Grant to General of the Armies. Only George Washington and John J Pershing have held that rank (O-11).

The definition of insanity

Six times in the last two days, the House has tried to elect a Speaker. In each attempt, no fewer than 19 right-wing crazies refused to vote for Kevin McCarthy (R-CA), meaning that Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries has gotten a plurality of the vote every time. Naturally, they'll try again in a few hours. Naturally, they'll fail again soon after.

Make no mistake: the right-wing crazies have no problem with the richest country in the history of the world operating without a functioning legislature.

In a completely unrelated story, researchers discovered an ant colony trapped in an abandoned Soviet nuclear bunker in Poland that has no queen and no hope of escape:

The wood-ant ‘colony’ described here – although superficially looking like a functioning colony with workers teeming on the surface of the mound – is rather an example of survival of a large amount of workers trapped within a hostile environment in total darkness, with constantly low temperatures and no ample supply of food. The continued survival of the ‘colony’ through the years is dependent on new workers falling in through the ventilation pipe. The supplement of workers more than compensates for the mortality rate of workers such that through the years the bunker workforce has grown to the level of big, mature natural colonies.

Sounds so familiar, and yet...