I'm two away from finishing the most entertaining series of books I've ever read, the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett. I mention this because the one I finished yesterday, Making Money, contained two of the funniest lines I've ever read:
There is a time in a thoughtless man's life when his six-pack becomes a keg....
"One of my predecessors used to have people torn apart by wild tortoises. It was not a quick death.
In context, they're even funnier.