"Squawk" is the aviation term for a maintenance request. These are squawks allegedly logged by QUANTAS pilots. The solutions logged by the company's maintenance engieers follow.
- Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
- Almost replaced left inside main tire.
- Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
- Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
- No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
- No. 2 propeller seepage normal. No's 1, 3, and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.
- Something loose in cockpit.
- Something tightened in cockpit.
- Dead bugs on windshield.
- Live bugs on back-order.
- Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
- Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
- Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
- Evidence removed.
- DME volume unbelievably loud.
- DME volume set to more believable level.
- Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
- That's what they're there for.
- IFF inoperative.
- IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
- Suspected crack in windshield.
- Suspect you're right.
- Number 3 engine missing.
- Engine found on right wing after brief search.
- Aircraft handles funny.
- Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
- Target radar hums.
- Reprogrammed target radar with words.
- Mouse in cockpit.
- Cat installed.
Submitted by reader D.B.