A guy walks into a bar with an octopus.
He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, so he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.
A man walks up and gives the octopus a guitar. The octopus starts playing better than Yngwie Malmsteen, just rippin' it up. So the man pays his $50.
Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Chuck Mangione. So the man pays his $50.
Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.
"Ha!" the Scot says. "Ye canna play it?"
The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to fuck it as soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off."
Submitted by reader B.P.