Nu, enjoy, Eis mien kinde, Eis. Burp.
In a latka, the oil is in the pancake. There is a rumor
that in the time of the Maccabees they lit a latka by mistake and it burned for
eight days. Although this is not certain, it has been proven many times that if
you've eaten one, you'll have heart burn for the same amount of time.
The Egyptians' revenge for leaving slavery. It consists
of a simple mix of flour and water--no eggs or flavor at all. When made, well,
it could actually taste like cardboard. Its redeeming value is that it does fill
you up and stays with you for a long time. However, it is recommended that you
eat a few prunes soon after.
One of the little-known delicacies which is even more
difficult to pronounce than to cook. It has nothing to do with Varnish, but is
basically a mixture of buckwheat and bow-tie macaroni (noodles).
Why a bow-tie? Many sages discussed this and agreed that
some Jewish mother decided that "You can't come to the table without a
tie" or, God forbid, "An elbow on my table?"
Not to be confused with the German war machine.
Basically this is the Jewish answer to crèpe Suzette.
You know from Haggis? Well, this ain't it. In the old
days they would take an intestine and stuff it. Today we use parchment paper or
plastic. And what do you stuff it with? Carrots, celery, onions, flour, and
spices. But the trick is not to cook it alone but to add it to the cholent (see
below) and let it cook for 24 hours until there is no chance whatsoever that
there is any nutritional value left.
It sounds worse than it tastes. There is a Rabbinical
debate on its origins: One Rabbi claims it began when a fortune cookie fell into
his chicken soup. The other claims it started in an Italian restaurant. Either
way it can be soft, hard, or soggy and the amount of meat inside depends on
whether your mother or your mother-in-law cooked it.
This combination of noxious gases had been the secret
weapon of Jews for centuries. The unique combination of beans, barley, potatoes,
and bones or meat is meant to stick to your ribs and anything else it comes into
contact with. At a fancy Mexican restaurant (kosher of course) someone heard
this comment from a youngster who had just had his first taste of Mexican fried
beans: "What! Do they serve leftover cholent here too?!"
A few years ago, I had problems with my filter in my
fish pond and a few of them got rather stuck and mangled. My son (then 5 years
old) looked at them and commented "Is that why we call it 'Ge Filtered
Fish'?" Originally, it was a carp stuffed with a minced fish and vegetable
mixture. Today it usually comprises small fish balls with a carrot coin on top,
eaten with horseradish ("chrain") which is judged on its relative
strength in bringing tears to your eyes at 100 paces.
How can we finish without the quintessential Jewish
Food, the bagel?
Like most foods, there are legends surrounding the
bagel, although I don't know any. There have been persistent rumors that the
inventors of the bagel were the Norwegians who couldn't get anyone to buy smoked
lox. Think about it: Can you picture yourself eating lox on white bread? Rye? A
Naaa. They looked for something hard and almost
indigestible which could take the spread of cream cheese and which doesn't take
up too much room on the plate.
And why the hole? The truth is that many philosophers
believe the hole is the essence, and the dough is only there for emphasis.
Submitted by reader J.S.