The Daily Parker

DasBlog, the blog engine I've started with, apparently has some difficulties running on Windows Server 2003:

1. Save buttons don't seem to work.
2. Categories disappear and reappear like socks in a dryer.
3. It's written for ASP.NET 1.1, which has now been supplanted by version 2.0.

I suspect #1 and #2 may be caused by #3.

For you, gentle reader, this means that you won't be able to add comments to entries yet. In some ways this may be good—comments can be used for good or evil—but in most ways it's just irritating.

I may have to re-write it for .NET 2.0. This is not my top software-development priority at the moment.

Update: Something funky is going on with caching, too. I think that's what made the categories disappear.

Also, it appears DasBlog's editor took my lovely XHTML code and made it beastly HTML 4.01 Transitional code, which in English means "it's broken."

And sadly, it seems that the authors have stopped maintaining the code and documentation.

Later update: I've turned off buffering in IIS. Let's see if that helps. Though, I've found two new irritations:

1. Apparently the Portal theme has a formatting bug that is causing my latest post ("Who's who in the Software category) to flow waaaay off the right side of the page. Other themes either don't look right or they don't display the embedded images.
2. The editor really, really messes up HTML, to the point that I don't trust it for anything other than basic text entry.

I'm David Braverman, and this is my blog.

It's likely that the world already has too many blogs. I hesitated starting one for many years, mostly because I didn't see the point. Who would want to read my self-absorbed navel-gazing semi-literate drivel? I mean, other than my mom?

What's this about?

I'm interested in too many things to confine this to one topic, no matter how self-absorbed it gets. So look forward to entries, at least one daily, on these topics:

• The weather. I've operated a weather website for more than seven years. That site deals with raw data and objective observations. The blog will add some interpretation, from travelogue to actual meterology.
• Anne. For reasons that passeth understanding, she married me, and now she's the most important part of my life. (She'd be first in the topics list except that I wanted a clever acronym—which she supplied, by the way.)
• Software. I own a small software company in Evanston, Illinois, and I have some experience writing software. I see a lot of code, and since I often get called in to projects in crisis, I see a lot of bad code. If you want to learn something about software development, this blog might be useful to you.
• Politics. Ask almost anyone in the world to summarize my political beliefs, and he'll probably say "moderate-left". Since I'm American, and this is 2005, that means I seem like a radical-pinko-leftie to my neighbors. I'll have more to say about this as the blog progresses. At this writing a hair more than 1,164 days remain in the Dubya presidency, so I have plenty of time.

This is public writing, too, so I hope to maintain a standard of literacy (i.e., spelling, grammar, and diction) and fluidity of prose that makes you want to keep reading.

I will not write much about my personal life. It's just not that interesting unless you're already part of it. If you want salacious details, there are many other blogs out there.

So why do this?

In the true spirit of blogging, I started this for a couple of totally self-absorbed reasons:

• To pontificate on subjects about which I know little;
• To get into the habit of writing every day, which my father (an Emmy-nominated professional writer) says is a good thing; and
• To provide some usable content for people interested in one or more of my topics.

Two things pushed me into starting this. First, I read Jakob Nielsen's article about blog usability, and second, my wife Anne got into the National Novel Writing Month spirit.

So, nu?

Keep reading, and send me comments.

Q: Why couldn't the twin elephants go to the beach?

A: Because they only had one pair of trunks.

Submitted by reader A.S.

Waiting at a restaurant bar
To meet my wife for dinner
And this woman walks in
Can’t help staring at her
I mean, this girl is hot
Rounded and tight, wicked curves
When she turns, I hold my breath
My god, she has incredible curves
She’s a little short, but whatever
A body like that, who cares about height?
She’d be tall enough in my bed
On her back or on all fours
It’s all good, all she’s got
Hair pulled back in a ponytail
Skin-tight T-shirt, cut low and high
Bright orange short shorts, and tight
Ah, yes, she wears French cut…
And across her ass, the word “midfielder”
I get to see that several times
Don’t know what it means, don’t care
And I’m thinking, just go away
I don’t need this right now
You’re too hot and I’m too tempted
Just keep walking and I’ll be okay
But look at that ass, those tits, those lips
She’s built to play and I’m feeling frisky
Imagination and temptation rising
Just look at that body
Just think what I could do with that
No baggage, no waiting, just raw
She’s so ripe and I’m so ready
No, no, stop that – I’m married
And I’m waiting here for my wife
Keep it cool, this is not a problem

So then she sits down next to me
Oh great, like I needed this
Too distracting, too tempting, too much
Maybe if I don’t look, it’ll be easier
Like maybe I’ll forget she’s there
Yeah, right
Eyes on my drink, aren’t ice cubes fascinating?
I could just stare at ’em for hours…
Why is she looking at me?
Uh-oh, she’s going to talk; not good
Hi.
Uh, hello, how are you?
Now why the hell did I ask that? Too late…
I’m good, she says, and I believe her
Stop that, this is just small talk
I’m not a teenager, no pickup lines here
Just two strangers talking in a bar
Passing the time in anonymous social…
I’m Alicia, she says with a smile
Uh-oh…
I’m Brad, I lie; can she tell?
Hi, Brad. Guess not
Maybe she doesn’t care
Maybe she doesn’t know any better
I mean, she looks pretty young
Late teens, early 20s
How much experience could she possibly have?
Does she even think to look for a ring?
Would she care if she saw one?
Hi, Alicia. You waiting for someone, too?
Yeah. I guess I should call her, huh?
Yeah, probably.
And then she laughs, and touches me
I heard this great joke today…
She tells me and it’s funny
She’s still touching me
Why don’t I pull away?
Then I hear myself saying,
Hey, that reminds me of a joke…
She laughs when I tell it
Head back, eyes bright, mouth wide open
She really liked my joke, no faking

So now we’re trading jokes
Laughter comes easily, and more touching
I hardly notice now – but I do notice
I don’t stop her, I don’t mention I’m married
Maybe this is just harmless fun
My wife could show up any moment now
Oops, gotta run, thanks for the laughs
But not yet, and I’m sweating now
She keeps touching me, subtle but repeated
She’s so sexy and I’m so tempted
Why can’t she just go away?
The jokes and stories are quite raunchy now
We’re deep in hard-core thoughts
I need to resist, I need to walk away
I can’t, I just can’t
I’m so ashamed
Might as well get something for my pain, then…

She leans forward, another private dirty joke
What a view she gives me
(Hey Alicia…nice rack!)
I mean, look at those tits
Look at them – big, round, firm, delicious
She knows I’m looking
She wants me to look
She’s got me hooked, we both know it
The question is, what will I do?
First, I laugh at her joke
It’s really funny and really nasty
Yeah, she knows what she’s doing
Then I look at her, just look
My eyes say what my lips can’t
She looks away, suddenly overwhelmed
The rules of the game have changed
But have they really?
She pulls out her cell phone:
Maybe I’d better call my friend.
Her eyes are dancing with mine
Her lips are telling lies
Her body is being honest
My reaction is a reflex, no thought
No, Alicia, and I take her hand
I’ve got a much better idea.
She smiles
That sounds like a great idea, Brad.
And then we’re both gone…

©2003 Sean Pearson

The Buddha did not drive his car at 7:45am
He never faced the corporate hierarchy
No student loans weighed on his shoulders
He walked away from his marriage
The Buddha had the freedom to choose, to explore
He taught us to accept the inevitability of change
He told us that letting go = serenity
And this path lies between asceticism and opulence

Well, I try to walk the Middle Way
I try to accept that change happens
But I slip a little in rush hour traffic
A little more working in my cubicle
A little more in the grocery store at 5:30pm
A little more in conversation at the dinner table
It adds up, little by little, to a lot of dissatisfaction
So much frustration and disappointment

And I get to try again tomorrow?

©2003 Sean Pearson

Submitted by reader S.P.