The Daily Parker

Politics, Weather, Photography, and the Dog

Harding, Coolidge, and Hoover—cubed

With the total acquiescence of the Republican majority in Congress (only Congress has the power to impose tariffs, really), the OAFPOTUS has exceeded everyone's expectations with yesterday's tariff announcement, solidifying himself as the stupidest person ever to hold the office:

Mr. Trump’s plan, which he unveiled on Wednesday and is calling “reciprocal,” would impose a wave of tariffs on dozens of countries. The European Union will face 20 percent tariffs, but the heavier levies will fall on countries in Asia, hitting friends and foes alike. Security partners Japan and South Korea will face tariffs of 24 and 26 percent respectively, while China will absorb an additional 34 percent on top of existing levies.

“The global economy will massively suffer,” Ursula von der Leyen, the president of the European Commission, said in a statement Thursday. “Uncertainty will spiral, and trigger the rise of further protectionism.”

“Our close partners appear to be treated similarly to our rivals,” said Wendy Cutler, a former U.S. trade negotiator who is now vice president of Asia Society Policy Institute. “Asian countries in particular have been hard hit, causing them sharp economic pain given their export-driven economies.”

Analysts said China may see a diplomatic opportunity. Mr. Trump imposed some of the highest tariffs on the smaller nations in Southeast Asia, including Vietnam, a producer of shoes and clothing bought by Americans, which now faces a levy of 46 percent.

The announcement itself contained so many falsehoods that the Post had to run a special Fact Checker column this morning:

Not only will tariffs be unlikely to reduce the budget deficit — especially if the economy sinks — but it’s a fantasy to suggest the national debt can be paid with tariffs.

The “subsidy” to Canada supposedly includes military benefits the U.S. provides to the NATO ally, but we fact-checked this and the numbers did not add up. In 2024, the deficit in trade in goods and services with Canada was about $45 billion. The trade deficit with Mexico was about $172 billion in 2024.

The income tax was intended to shift the burden to wealthier Americans as the cost of tariffs fall mainly on lower-income people. Tax revenue was also considered a more stable source of funds. One big advocate for an income tax was Theodore Roosevelt, a Republican. As for the Great Depression, many historians credit the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act, signed into law in 1930, as worsening the economic slowdown because it sparked a global trade war.

It didn't help that the list of countries and dependencies getting new tariffs included Diego Garcia, a small island in the Indian Ocean entirely populated by US and UK military personnel.

More reactions:

Noah Smith, writing on Saturday and therefore only anticipating the malignant stupidity of yesterday's announcement, opened with a sentiment many of us share: "I do not believe that Donald Trump is secretly a Russian plant, hired by the Kremlin to destroy America’s economy and global influence. But frustratingly, Trump’s actions are often indistinguishable from what he might do if he were a foreign agent bent on destruction."

The IQs of the three Republican presidents of the 1920s do not sum up to 300. And yet even Warren Harding managed to get through three years in the White House without doing anything as stupid as this--and he knocked up a maid in one of the building's closets.

I can only hope that someone bundles Peter Navarro off to a Louisiana detention facility so that some other sycophant can help the OAFPOTUS end the dumbest trade war in history. Sadly, that does not seem likely.

Rainy days and Wednesdays

Cassie and I found a 20-minute gap in the rain this morning so she could have a (slightly-delayed) walk. Since around 9 am, though, we've had variations on this:

Good thing I have all these heartwarming news stories to warm my heart:

  • Dane County, Wis., Judge Susan Crawford beat Waukesha County Judge Brad Schimel 55% to 45% for the vacant seat on the Wisconsin state Supreme Court, despite the $25 million the Clown Prince of X donated to Schimel's campaign. The CPOX himself drew laughs from people with IQs above 80 by claiming he didn't really try to buy the seat for the right-wing Schimel.
  • Paul Krugman reminds the credulous that "there's no plan, secret or otherwise" behind the OAFPOTUS's tariffs. ("Does he really believe that Canada is a major source of fentanyl? Worse, does he believe that fentanyl smugglers pay tariffs?") Timothy Noah concurs.
  • Scholar Larry Diamond lays out the ways we can get through the constitutional crisis the OAFPOTUS has created.
  • A Federal judge has dismissed corruption charges against New York Mayor Eric Johnson, but enjoined the US Attorney from threatening more charges. It's only a partial win for corruption in the US, but still a win.
  • The Times looks at Brightline's success and asks, "What's so hard about building trains?" After pointing out that "in Florida, Brightline has proved that it can operate reliable, well-designed passenger trains that people want to ride," they fail to project that it will probably get bailed out at least once in the next 25 years by state and federal money.
  • The Onion imbues the Chicago Transit Authority with "an unconscious fear of success manifesting through self-sabotage." They're not wrong.

Finally, Bruce Schneier and a colleague published a paper yesterday lauding "Rational Astrologies and Security." In the paper, the authors analyze beliefs like "Nobody every got fired for buying IBM" and "It's always been done this way" as rational, and how security professionals can use them. The timing of the paper's publication in no way affects the soundness of these conclusions, of course.

The Doctor is Seuss

If you're old enough, you may remember the show Moonlighting, which ran from March 1985 until May 1989 on ABC. And if you remember Moonlighting, you may remember this bit from the first season finale that aired 40 years ago today:

Later today we'll return to our ongoing existential horror. But let's pause and remember what it was like to watch that scene unfold on broadcast television with no way to play it back until it finished recording on tape.

A fool, not just in April

I've encountered online comments and what passes for deep thoughts from the OAFPOTUS's apologists. Even The Economist has wondered aloud if the vandalism and incompetence of his administration is somehow 4-dimensional chess, his way of bringing about a glorious new world of higher living standards and improved Western cultural hegemony, or some such nonsense. So after this horrible right-wing experiment, should we credit the administration with the centrist correction?

No.

I believe we will recover from this era. I believe that the pain the OAFPOTUS will inflict for the next 46 months or so will, in fact, lead to a massive reset of US politics starting with the 120th Congress in January 2027, and a massive repudiation of both right- and left-wing extremism. And perhaps by the time I'm 80 we'll have a society in North America that bears some resemblance in empathy and technology to the Europe of today, with universal health care, a stronger democracy, and a high-speed train network at least worthy of 1990s France.

This will not, however, have anything to do with the OAFPOTUS himself, nor the Clown Prince of X, nor the double-speaking half-wits they surround themselves with. It will be despite them.

Hiroshima doesn't thank Paul Tibbets for its beautiful city center. America won't thank these thugs for what comes after them, either.

Can't make March jokes anymore

We had a wild ride in March, with the temperature range here at Inner Drive Technology WHQ between 23.3° on the 14th and -5.4°C on the 2nd—not to mention 22.6°C on Friday and 2.3°C on Sunday.

Actually, everyone in the US had a wild ride last month, for reasons outside the weather, and it looks like it will continue for a while:

Finally, the Dunning-Krueger poster children working for the Clown Prince of X have announced plans to replace the 60 million lines of COBOL code running the Social Security Administration with an LLM-generated pile of spaghetti in some other language (Python? Ruby? Logo?) before the end of the year. As this will only cost a few million dollars and will keep the children away from the sharp objects for a while, I say it's money well spent for software that will never see the light of day. There are only two possibilities here, not mutually-exclusive: they are too dumb to know why this is stupid, or they don't care because they actually want to kill Social Security by any means they can. I believe it's both.